names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
