whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
