he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
