He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
