I think i sorta joined a cult last night
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize