but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
His nipple licking is glorious
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
