I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
