my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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