I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
