just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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