everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
