Define "chronic" masturbator.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
