that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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