he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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