If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
