He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
pray to the hookup gods
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
