You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
as a side note pls kill me
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
