I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
