we're blogging at a bar
return my video game
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
