I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
