I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
