how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
