I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
