My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
