everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
