dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize