We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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