do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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