his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
