Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
