Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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