my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
