Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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