im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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