watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she looked like the before picture.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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