worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I take back everything I said about communal showers
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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