If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
