im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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