Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
