D3 body, D1 cock
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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