its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
