whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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