I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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