we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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