Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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