I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's never too late to be topless.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
