Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
