Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I believe in your delicious
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
