...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
