No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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