Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
