Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
