8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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