this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
