we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
