is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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