I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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