i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
