I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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