im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
