last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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