Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
