my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
