k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
